Class Registration

A typical phone conversation at the children’s theatre, here for all to enjoy!

(Phone rings.)

Me: Hello, this is Jenn. How can I help you?

Parent: Hi! I’m interested in getting my daughter involved in the theatre!

Me: Great! How old is she?

Parent: She just turned four. We had the best princess-themed birthday party! She pretended that she was a princess and bossed everyone around all day long!

Me: Wonderful. We have a class for PreK students that starts in a few days.

Parent: Aww! What do they do in class?

Me: They act out a different storybook each day, and they make a theatre craft project based on that book, like a puppet or a costume piece.

Parent: That’s perfect for my daughter! She just loves acting out. She’s very dramatic.

Me: Well, she’ll fit right in. Would you like to register her for this class?

Parent: Maybe. Will she be the lead?

Me: Pardon?

Parent: In the play. Will she be the lead?

Me: The PreK class doesn’t put on a play. They memorize and act out storybooks.

Parent: Why don’t they do a whole play?

Me: Because they’re four. This class focuses on creative play and imagination.

Parent: But she should be in a play. She sings along to Glee all the time.

Me: Our pre-kindergarten class is an introduction to theatre…

Parent: My daughter is smarter than that. She already knows how to draw stars.

Me: …they explore how to use their bodies and voices to tell a story and express emotions.

Parent: My child doesn’t need to express her emotions; she needs to be on the stage. What other classes do you have?

Me: We only offer one PreK class at this time.

Parent: How old do you have to be to be the lead in a play?

Me: (Sigh.) The students begin staging short musicals in 2nd grade.

Parent: Great! I want her to be in that class!

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but she’ll have to wait until she’s old enough. She should begin with the introductory class. It’s a wonderful foundation for…

Parent: She’s smart enough to be in second grade! In fact, we’re having her tested this summer to see if she can skip Kindergarten and go straight to first! If she can skip Kindergarten, can she be in that other class?!

Me: No, ma’am. She needs to be in second grade.

Parent: But you don’t understand! She’s brilliant. I mean, she acts out everything she sees on t.v. Like those insurance commercials! She and my husband act them out every night at the dinner table! He’ll say “do I get all the dag-nabbit coverage I need?” and she’ll say “name your price!” and then we all just laugh and laugh! She doesn’t need a beginner’s class. She’s advanced!

Me: Has she had any previous theatre experience?

Parent: I just told you. She acts things out at home all the time.

Me: If you really want your preschooler to become involved in theatre, I suggest you start with this beginner’s class. It’s the only program that we have for her age group, and it is a very good introduction to live theatre.

Parent: But she won’t be the star.

Me: In order for her to have the skills to audition for a leading role in the future, she will need to understand basic concepts. Like listening…

Parent: What if she doesn’t want to take a class? What if she just wants to be the lead in a play?

Me: Then she will need to wait until she is old enough to audition for one of our children’s plays.

Parent: Okay, what do you have to do to audition?

Me: Depending on the play, you learn a song and a dance, and then you read from the script.

Parent: She can’t read. She’s only four!

Me: Which is why she can’t audition for a play until she is in second grade.

Parent: This is ridiculous! My child has dreams! She wants to be a star, and she wants to be a star now! By the time she’s in second grade, she might not even want to do this anymore!

Me: Then perhaps you should keep her interested by bringing her to some of our plays and enrolling her in our introductory PreK class.

Parent: Listen, I don’t think you understand. I have a very precocious, very demanding, very dramatic little girl who wants to be in a play. She won’t stop bugging me about it and I don’t know what else to do!

Me: I do understand. Unfortunately, the only thing I can offer you is a spot in the 4-year-old class.

Parent: Alright, fine. I’ll sign her up. Anything to get her out of the house.

Scene 🙂